The ABCs for Heavy Days
What to do when your nervous system says, “Not today.”
If you were rushed into an emergency room after a traumatic injury, the medical team wouldn’t start surgery right away.
They’d first stabilize you—beginning with the basics:
Airway. Breathing. Circulation.
The ABCs.
Without those, nothing else matters.
You don’t transport. You don’t operate.
You stabilize.
Because pushing forward without a foundation risks collapse.
Yet in everyday life, we forget this.
We wake up feeling foggy, unmotivated, heavy—and instead of stabilizing, we demand performance.
We say:
“Come on. Push through. Be better.”
Especially for high achievers and caregivers, this is the default script.
But what if feeling “off” isn’t a flaw to overcome—
but a signal to heed?
The Biology Behind the Blah
When you’re overloaded—by chronic stress, illness, uncertainty, grief, or burnout—your nervous system may shift into a protective state.
This isn’t laziness. It’s conservation.
Polyvagal Theory explains this through the lens of the autonomic nervous system. When your system detects threat or overload, it may trigger a dorsal vagal response—a freeze state designed to preserve energy.
That flat, numb, or disconnected feeling isn’t weakness.
It’s your body saying:
“Let’s not sprint while the system is unstable.”
You’re not broken.
You’re trying to function without a regulated baseline.
Important note: If these feelings persist for more than two weeks—especially with hopelessness, sleep changes, or emotional disconnection—it’s essential to consult a licensed mental health professional. Sometimes stress-induced shutdown mimics or masks clinical depression. You don’t have to navigate it alone.
A Glimpse Into Anna’s Day
Anna is a mom, a manager, and a midnight worrier.
Last week, she woke up and couldn’t do it.
Her inbox overflowed. Her calendar was packed.
But all she wanted was to crawl under the covers and disappear.
Normally, she’d force herself forward.
But this time, she didn’t.
She paused.
She didn’t push through. She stabilized.
Using a different kind of ABC—one designed not for emergency rooms,
but for emotional triage.
The ABCs for Heavy Days
Acknowledge. Breathe. Choose.
Acknowledge
Take out a sheet of paper. At the top, write:
“No wonder I feel this way.”
Then, list everything that’s weighing on you—big or small. No fixing, no judgment. Just truth.
This practice engages your prefrontal cortex—the part of the brain responsible for regulation—while calming activity in the amygdala, the brain’s threat center.
As Dr. Matthew Lieberman describes it, naming emotions helps tame them.
Breathe
Set a timer for five minutes. Sit quietly. Eyes closed. Hand on your heart or belly if that feels right.
Just breathe.
No app. No agenda.
You are not performing. You are existing.
You are telling your body:
“We’re safe now.”
Slow, diaphragmatic breathing activates the parasympathetic nervous system—the body’s rest-and-digest response—helping to lower cortisol, reduce heart rate, and restore calm.
Choose
Pick one small action that feels supportive, not strategic.
The goal is not momentum.
The goal is anchoring.
Make a warm drink and sit with it slowly
Step outside and feel the sun for 90 seconds
Stretch, sway, or move gently
Text someone who makes you feel seen
Place your bare feet on the ground
Even these micro-acts stimulate your prefrontal cortex, gently reconnecting you to decision-making, motivation, and a sense of control.
Why It Works
When your nervous system is overloaded, your thinking brain can go “offline.”
Stabilizing practices like the ABCs gently bring it back online—without shame, without force.
You’re not behind.
You’re not lazy.
You’re navigating a system that needs stabilization, not more stimulation.
In Stillness, We Root
Nature doesn’t bloom during storms.
Roots grow in the stillness.
So if today feels heavy—if the path ahead feels foggy or brittle—remember:
You may not need to push through.
You may need to pause and stabilize.
And if the heaviness lingers, that’s not weakness—it’s information.
Stabilizing yourself doesn’t mean doing it all alone.
You’re not broken.
You’re human—and healing.
Honor your ABCs.
They’re not a delay. They’re the way forward.
Want a printable version to guide yourself through this on heavy days?
Download the ABCs for Heavy Days Worksheet — a simple, science-backed companion to this article that walks you step-by-step through:
Acknowledge: with structured journaling prompts
Breathe: a 5-minute calm tracker
Choose: a curated menu of stabilizing micro-actions
Use it anytime your system says “not today,” and you need to stabilize before you sprint.
This tool is available exclusively to paid subscribers.
Upgrade now to download your copy instantly.