Unhealthy Habits Will Keep You Stuck Until You Do This One Thing

Why Do Some People Break Bad Habits for Good While Others Stay Stuck?

Let me introduce you to two people—both former smokers.

Josie quit smoking a month ago. When people ask if she smokes, she says, "I’m trying to quit." She still sees herself as a smoker—just one who’s resisting cigarettes.

Then there’s Leena. She also quit a month ago, but when someone offers her a cigarette, she confidently says, "I don’t smoke." It’s not just a behavior she’s trying to change—it’s who she is now.

Fast forward a year. Who do you think is more likely to relapse?

Science has the answer.

The Study That Reveals the Truth About Habit Change

A study titled What Kind of Smoking Identity Following Quitting Would Elevate Smokers’ Relapse Risk? examined 544 former smokers in Australia and the UK. It found that the way people identify after quitting makes or breaks their success.

Participants were grouped based on how they described themselves:

• "Smokers trying to quit"

• "Smokers who have chosen to no longer smoke"

• "Non-smokers"

• "Ex-smokers"

The relapse rates were striking:

• "Smokers trying to quit"—71.4% relapsed

• "Smokers who have chosen to no longer smoke"—12.4% relapsed

• "Non-smokers"—8.0% relapsed

• "Ex-smokers"—7.2% relapsed

The takeaway? Your identity drives your habits. Those who saw themselves as non-smokers or ex-smokers were far less likely to return to cigarettes. But those who still identified as smokers—even ones trying to quit—were at high risk of relapse.

Now, let’s apply this beyond smoking.

Why Willpower Will Always Fail You

We’ve been told that breaking bad habits is about trying harder—more discipline, more motivation, more restrictions. But your brain will always pull you back to the identity you believe is true.

If you still see yourself as someone who:

• "Loves junk food but is trying to eat better"

• "Hates exercise but knows they need to do it"

• "Is an emotional eater who’s working on it"

…then you’re keeping the door open for relapse.

But if you shift your identity to:

• "I nourish my body with foods that fuel me"

• "I am an active person who moves daily"

• "I respect my emotions without using food"

…your habits will naturally follow.

The One Thing You Must Do to Break Free from Bad Habits

The secret to lasting change isn’t more willpower. It’s changing your identity.

If you want to quit sugar, stop saying you’re trying to quit sugar.
If you want to exercise consistently, stop saying you’re bad at fitness.
If you want to lose weight, stop saying you struggle with food.

Instead, start telling yourself—and others—who you really want to become.

This isn't just positive thinking. It’s neuroscience.

How to Shift Your Identity (and Finally Break the Cycle)

Step 1: Decide Who You Want to Be

Ask yourself:

• What kind of person easily maintains the habits I struggle with?

• What do they believe about themselves?

• How do they act daily?

For example:

• If you want to eat healthier, become the kind of person who enjoys nourishing foods.

• If you want to work out consistently, become the kind of person who never skips movement.

• If you want to quit sugar, become the kind of person who thrives without it.

Step 2: Take Small, Undeniable Actions

Your brain needs proof that you are this new person. So start small:

• Want to be a healthy eater? Add one more veggie to your plate.

• Want to be an active person? Walk for five minutes.

• Want to sleep better? Shut down screens ten minutes earlier.

Your identity shifts through action.

Step 3: Speak Your New Identity into Existence

The words you use matter.

• Instead of "I’m trying to eat healthier," say "I am someone who eats for health."

• Instead of "I need to start exercising," say "I am an active person."

• Instead of "I’m cutting back on sugar," say "I don’t eat foods that don’t serve me."

Your brain will believe what you tell it. So tell it something empowering.

Final Thoughts: The Haunted House or the Habit Healer?

Your unhealthy habits will keep haunting you—unless you change the person you believe yourself to be.

Josie and Leena both quit smoking. But only Leena stopped identifying as a smoker.

The same rule applies to you. If you want to break free from frustration and inconsistency, you must change your identity first.

And the best part? You don’t have to wait for permission or the perfect moment.

You can start today. Right now.

So the real question is: Are you still living in the haunted house of your old habits? Or are you ready to become the Habit Healer of your own life?

Your transformation starts now. Take one small step today—and vote for your future self.