The Hidden Chains Keeping Us Stuck
For years, I believed that becoming a doctor was the highest calling—the ultimate way to help people. I thought that if I could just make it through medical school, learn the science of treating disease, and prescribe the right medications, I would change lives.
I was wrong.
At first, I didn’t see the problem. I was doing what I had been trained to do: diagnose, treat, prescribe. Patients came in, I gave them the right advice, and they left with a clear plan for better health.
But then… they didn’t change.
I’d see the same patients return with the same issues, sometimes worse. I’d tweak medications, reinforce recommendations, and still—no change.
And I wasn’t the only one seeing this. I’d hear colleagues say things like:
"Patients don’t change. Why even bother telling them what to do?"
"People don’t want to be healthy. They just want a quick fix."
"You can’t help someone who won’t help themselves."
And for a while, I started to believe it too. Maybe people were just stubborn. Maybe they didn’t want to change.
But something about that never sat right with me. I wasn’t willing to accept that people didn’t want to be healthy. I had to go deeper. And when I did, I saw the truth:
It wasn’t that they didn’t want to change.
It was that they believed they couldn’t.
The Lies We All Live By
We all have them—stories we tell ourselves about who we are, what’s possible, and what we deserve.
And these stories don’t start as beliefs. They start as experiences. A struggle. A failure. A painful moment.
You try to lose weight but gain it back. You tell yourself, “I guess I’m just meant to be this way.”
You attempt to exercise but feel out of place. You think, “I’m not an athlete. I’ve never been one.”
You put yourself first and someone calls you selfish. You decide, “It’s not safe to take care of myself.”
One experience turns into a story, and that story hardens into a belief.
And once we believe something, we defend it—even when it holds us back.
That’s why when someone challenges us, when they present a different story, we resist. It’s not just words. It’s an attack on the foundation of how we see ourselves.
And that’s exactly why my patients weren’t changing.
The Real Problem: We’re Treating the Wrong Thing
For years, I thought I was treating disease.
Then I thought I was treating behavior—if I just told people what to do, they’d change.
But I was wrong again.
The real problem? False beliefs.
People weren’t struggling with what to do. They knew they should eat better. They knew they should move more. They knew that managing stress was important.
They weren’t failing because of lack of knowledge.
They were failing because of the story they believed about themselves.
And so was I.
How to Break Free: A Simple Framework
If you’ve ever felt stuck—like you want to change but somehow never do—there’s a belief holding you back.
Here’s how to uncover it:
Identify the Experience – What past event shaped your belief? A failed diet? A rejection? A moment of shame?
Find the Story – What did you tell yourself about that experience? “I’m not good enough.” “I don’t have the willpower.” “This is just who I am.”
Challenge the Belief – Ask yourself: Is this absolutely true? Or is it just the meaning you attached to the experience?
Thank It and Release It – Your belief served a purpose. Maybe it protected you from disappointment. Maybe it kept you in your comfort zone. But now, it’s time to let it go.
Your Invitation to Freedom
The truth is, you are not your past. You are not your failures. You are not your struggles.
You are someone who is learning. Who is growing. Who is capable of rewriting the story.
So the question is: What story are you ready to let go of?
Because the moment you decide to see things differently—the moment you challenge the belief that’s kept you stuck—everything changes.
And you are one healing habit away from the life you’ve always wanted.