Why You Can’t Stop Doing That Thing You Swore You’d Stop Doing

And why it’s not because you're broken. It’s because your brain is kind of a jerk sometimes.

Jun 06, 2025

You swore you were done.

Done with the late-night snacking.
Done with the mindless scrolling.
Done hitting snooze five times and calling it a “slow morning routine.”

You meant it.

You felt motivated. Clear. Grown.
You even told someone. Maybe posted about it. Maybe bought a journal.

But two days later, there you were.
Doing the exact thing you said you were done with.
Maybe even while saying out loud, “What am I doing?”

It’s not just you.
It’s all of us.
Welcome to the perfectly normal, totally predictable, endlessly annoying world of irrational health decisions.

You’re Not Failing, You’re Just Running Old Code

Let’s clear something up:

The reason you keep doing that thing you swore you’d stop doing isn’t because you’re lazy, undisciplined, or secretly self-destructive.

It’s because you’re predictable.

Your brain loves routines, even the dysfunctional ones.
Especially the dysfunctional ones.
Because those are the ones it knows best.

Your brain doesn’t care if the habit makes you feel good after.
It only cares if the habit makes you feel safe now.

And if that bag of chips at 9:37 p.m. has historically taken the edge off your overwhelm, even once, guess what’s now in the algorithm?

Chips = Safety.

Your rational self may want broccoli.
But your survival brain wants what it recognizes in the dark.

Your Brain Is a Different Beast Under the Influence (Of Anything)

Let’s talk about one of the weirdest, most revealing studies ever done on decision-making.

It was conducted by Dan Ariely, a behavioral economist, who, brace yourself, asked college guys to answer a series of ethically questionable questions about sex. Twice.

First, while calm.
Then again... while aroused.
Induced arousal.
Let’s just say the study required a laptop, privacy, and a lack of shame.

The goal?
To see how much our values, boundaries, and decisions change depending on our state, not our character.

The results?
Startling.

In a cold, rational state, these students said things like:

“I would never lie to get sex.”
“I would always use a condom.”
“That’s way over the line.”

Then, while aroused?

Suddenly:

“Maybe just this once.”
“It’s not that bad.”
“What line?”

Same person.
Different brain.

This is not just about sex.
It’s about what happens anytime your body is in a heightened state:

Craving
Stress
Anger
Exhaustion
Anxiety
Scroll-induced numbness

In those moments, your rational self goes off-duty.
Your brain shifts from planner to survivalist.
It stops asking, “What aligns with my values?” and starts asking, “How do I get out of this feeling immediately?”

Which is how you end up doing the exact thing you swore you were done with, while watching yourself do it, like a hostage in your own habit loop.

And the next morning?
Your rational brain is back.
Staring at the evidence.
Wondering who broke in and lived your life for a minute.

What Actually Works (According to People Who Study Irrational Humans)

You don’t need better willpower.
You need better preparation for the moment when willpower won’t show up.

That’s not weakness. That’s strategy.

Dan Ariely’s research makes one thing painfully clear:

“Like Ulysses, we must find ways to bind ourselves to the mast, precommitting to our preferred path of action.”

We are predictably irrational—especially when tired, emotional, or triggered.
The only way to make better choices in those moments is to not be making choices in those moments.

Here’s what actually works:

1. Decide While Calm, Not While Craving

You make better decisions when your brain isn’t flooded with urgency.
So make them before the flood.

Don’t plan dinner at 6 p.m.—plan it at 9 a.m.
Don’t rely on how you “feel after work.” Your feelings will vote for Netflix.
Don’t argue with yourself about walking—schedule it like a meeting.

Make the decision when you’re clear.
Then follow the plan like a script, not a debate.

2. Remove the Option You’re Trying to Resist

You don’t need more discipline.
You need fewer decisions.

Want to stop snacking? Don’t bring it home.
Want to scroll less? Delete the app Monday–Friday.
Want to wake up earlier? Move your phone to another room and charge it there.

You’re not “trying harder.”
You’re removing the trap door before you fall through it.

3. Tie Yourself to the Mast (Yes, Literally)

This is the heart of precommitment.

Sign up for a workout with a no-show penalty.
Put a sticky note on the pantry that says, “Did 9 a.m. you say this was a good idea?”
Write yourself a rule: “If I hit snooze once, I have to do five pushups.”

These aren’t gimmicks. They’re lifelines.

You're not punishing yourself.
You're parenting your future self, with love and structure.

4. Future Me Friday: A 5-Minute Weekly Reset That Actually Works

Let’s face it, your future self always gets the short end of the stick.

You stay up too late and say, “Morning me will figure it out.”
You skip the workout and whisper, “We’ll do it tomorrow.”
You avoid the grocery store and assume “Next week we’ll be better.”

But future you isn’t some magical, high-functioning unicorn.
She’s you. With the same energy, stress, and responsibilities.
So let’s stop ghosting her—and start helping her.

Enter: Future Me Friday.

What Is It?

Every Friday, take five minutes to write a short note to your future self.
It’s not a journal entry. It’s not a performance review.
It’s a moment of honest reflection + one small act of precommitment.

How to Do It

Open a notebook, journal, or Google Doc. (Doesn’t matter. Just pick one place to keep your notes.)
Write a short note addressed to next week’s you. Think of it like writing a memo to your teammate—who just happens to be you.

Use this format if it helps:

Here’s what this week taught us:
(Example: “We don’t make good decisions after 9 p.m. Maybe stop trying.”)
Here’s what I want you to remember when things get hard next week:
(Example: “Tired isn’t an emergency. Just go to bed.”)
Here’s one small gift I’m leaving you:
(Example: “I deleted Instagram. You’re welcome.”)

What NOT to Do

Don’t write a novel. A few honest lines is enough.
Don’t spiral into guilt. This is not a “confess your failures” letter.
Don’t pretend you were perfect. That’s not the point.
Don’t future trip. Focus on what’s in your control for one week.

Why It Works

Psychologists call this episodic future thinking, when you imagine your future self clearly, you’re more likely to make decisions that help her.

It’s how you build a habit of self-trust.
Not by being perfect, but by staying in conversation.

A Real Example

Dear Next Week Me,
You’ve probably already opened the snack drawer. That’s fine. Just remember: one moment doesn’t cancel a whole week.
This week, we learned that “checking email real quick” before bed leads to chaos. Please don’t.
I put your walking shoes by the door. Go outside Monday. Even if it’s weirdly windy again.
You’re doing better than you think.
Love,
Me

Future Me Friday isn’t about productivity.
It’s about showing up for yourself—consistently, and without judgment.

One letter a week.
52 chances a year to build a brain that doesn’t bail on you.

Final Word

You’re not irrational.
You’re predictably irrational.

You won’t win this game with motivation.
You’ll win it with strategy.
With environmental design.
With rituals that protect you from your tiredest self.

So this week, don’t just promise to change.

Write it down.
Lock it in.
Remove the door you usually escape through.
And do one thing—just one—that makes life easier for the you who’s going to need it most.

That’s not being strict.
That’s being wise.

Want more rituals that actually change your life?

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