You Can’t Skip “Here” to Get to “There”

Why every healing journey starts where you are, not where you wish you were

The Illusion of “There”

Most of us live under a silent assumption: that healing begins when we finally fix ourselves.

We believe we’ll feel better when the weight is gone. When our schedule clears. When we finally kick the sugar or stop snapping at our kids or stop waking up already exhausted. That’s when we’ll feel ready. That’s when we’ll start showing up for our health. That’s when we’ll finally become the person we want to be.

But that “there” we keep aiming for? It’s not a destination—it’s a delay tactic.

As Jon Kabat-Zinn says, “Wherever you go, there you are.” You don’t become someone else by moving forward. You bring yourself with you—every thought pattern, every habit, every emotion you’ve been trying to avoid. If you don’t know how to work with where you are, you won’t know what to do once you arrive “there.”

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The Healing Paradox

Here’s the paradox that trips people up:

You have to make peace with where you are in order to move forward.

That’s not just a feel-good quote. It’s a functional truth.
You can’t heal your body if you hate it.
You can’t change your habits if you deny the ones you already have.
You can’t grow if you’re unwilling to be seen in your current state.

This is why many attempts at healing fail—not because people don’t care or aren’t trying hard enough, but because they skip over the part where healing actually begins: accepting the now.

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What “Here” Looks Like

Let’s get real about what it means to start where you are.

It means acknowledging your current reality without sugarcoating or spinning it:

• Yes, maybe your energy is shot.

• Maybe your eating is more chaotic than you want it to be.

• Maybe your stress is off the charts and your sleep is broken.

• Maybe your mornings are reactive and rushed.

That’s not failure. That’s your current operating system. It’s data.

Starting “here” doesn’t mean staying stuck. It means getting honest. And that honesty is the foundation of every lasting change I’ve ever seen whether it’s weight loss, healing trauma, or reclaiming your peace.

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Start with What’s Working

One of the fastest ways to stop spiraling in self-criticism is to practice noticing what is working, even in small ways.

Ask yourself:
What’s one small thing I did today that moved me toward healing, even a little?

Maybe it was drinking a glass of water before coffee.
Maybe it was pausing before responding in anger.
Maybe it was choosing rest instead of numbing out.
Maybe it was opening this article instead of opening a tab to shop or scroll.

Tiny actions compound. But not if you keep dismissing them as not enough.

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This Moment is the Entry Point

Kabat-Zinn puts it plainly: “Like it or not, this moment is all we really have to work with.”

The longer you wait for life to quiet down, the more time you spend rehearsing a version of yourself that doesn’t exist yet. The real version of you is standing right here, today, imperfect but capable.

If you can stop fighting the now, you can start healing.

If you can name one thing that needs attention, you can begin.

If you can meet yourself with curiosity instead of judgment, you open the door.

Not wide. But just enough to step through.

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Let “Here” Be Enough—for Now

You are not behind.

You don’t need to have it all figured out before you deserve to start. Your life doesn’t have to be tidy to be worthy of healing. And you are not broken. You are a human being with a body, a mind, and a nervous system doing the best it can.

And that’s enough. Not forever, but for now.

Let today be the day you stop waiting for perfect conditions and start engaging with what’s real. Your next habit, your next insight, your next shift—it begins here. Not in theory. Not in hindsight. Not when you finally feel like you’ve earned it.

Healing begins exactly where you are.

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A Practice for Right Now

Before you move on, try this simple practice. It takes 60 seconds.

1. Look around. Notice something small that feels good.
Warm sunlight on your arm. The hum of the heater. The quiet of the room. The fact that you’re breathing.

2. Name it.
Say quietly to yourself: “This is what’s real right now.”

3. Let that be enough for one breath.

That’s how we begin.

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PS. Do you want to learn the One Micro Habit That Makes You Happier Than Coffee? Then tune in for tomorrow’s post!