I've been feeling this exact thing since I left my doctoral program. I know it was the right decision, but hitting those brakes on that careening car was difficult. Taking a deep breath before moving forward.
This one resonated, Dr. Marbas. I’m glad you articulated what it felt like during the transition period. The invites dwindled and some friends stopped reaching out. But it does get better and the silence is indeed space. We’re on year 14 and never looked back.
You know it is interesting once you establish your values you draw in your tribe that resonates with you. I never drank alcohol and in college I would get teased but I was resolute, and those who did drink changed their behavior when they were with me. Then eventually some went on to become teetotalers themselves. You never know the ripples you create.
That’s so true,Dr.Marbas! Last year, I was chopping and prepping my WFPB food for lunch in front of a good friend of 30 years. I stayed with her for 4 days. Just recently she said seeing me prep lunch for several days convinced her that it was easy to eat healthy and has adopted it into her routine. Wow! That surprised me.
Thank you for doing what you do! You’re always inspiring!
I read this early this morning and it stayed with me all day. I've been feeling this for some time but completely unable to put it into words. It's just so counter intuitive to me.
If I go for a run sure it may be unpleasant in the moment but afterwards I feel great pretty much immediately. If I'm working on these other aspects it's unpleasant in the moment and then I spend the next few hours (or days) worrying that I just did something terribly wrong.
I know it won't be this way forever but sometimes it feels like it will be.
How beautifully articulated. I stopped drinking alcohol last July. For the first time in years I sat with my emptiness and grief. I didn't want to keep numbing myself. Eventually my emptiness became my welcome space.
I gave myself 6 months sobriety to learn about myself. I have not wanted to return to drinking and my old habits and tribe.
I now exercise regularly and am starting to find a new tribe.
I actually enjoyed reflecting on my changes. I keep learning about me and I like myself much better now.
It’s my inner child who is upset over feeling alone because she feels she did something wrong to deserve it. It’s my job to comfort her to remind her that. I want to hear what she has to say and that she is never alone because I am here to listen.
This resonates with me. When I decided to stop eating after 7:00 because that improves my sleep I got soft push back and teasing from my husband and his aunt. I stuck to my decision because my first real “aha” moment was that a good night’s sleep is the foundation of a great day for me. The same was true when I decided to go gluten free to help relieve the stiffness in my joints. I stuck to my decision because I feel better. They use phrases like “you aren’t allowed to eat…”. These choices are not being made for me by anyone but me. But there is a separation from the group because they are not in the same place in their journey. Sitting with the grief, feeling the feelings, and knowing they are ok is something I haven’t fully done yet. It’s this grief that sometimes makes me feel deprived when I am with the group. I need to do this every day - for 5 minutes - until I no longer feel deprived but feel really comfortable with my choices. Thank you!
So true. Happened with me about 3 years ago when I ramped up exercise. But each day I did something, I felt a little better. And yes, it's nice when someone notices now but it also doesn't matter because of how good I feel
Yes! This is it, exactly. So hard and so slow but the changes are real. Thanks so much for letting me know I am not the only one who feels these things.🤓
I've been feeling this exact thing since I left my doctoral program. I know it was the right decision, but hitting those brakes on that careening car was difficult. Taking a deep breath before moving forward.
Wow this is so powerful and I really needed to read this today
❤️
This one resonated, Dr. Marbas. I’m glad you articulated what it felt like during the transition period. The invites dwindled and some friends stopped reaching out. But it does get better and the silence is indeed space. We’re on year 14 and never looked back.
You know it is interesting once you establish your values you draw in your tribe that resonates with you. I never drank alcohol and in college I would get teased but I was resolute, and those who did drink changed their behavior when they were with me. Then eventually some went on to become teetotalers themselves. You never know the ripples you create.
That’s so true,Dr.Marbas! Last year, I was chopping and prepping my WFPB food for lunch in front of a good friend of 30 years. I stayed with her for 4 days. Just recently she said seeing me prep lunch for several days convinced her that it was easy to eat healthy and has adopted it into her routine. Wow! That surprised me.
Thank you for doing what you do! You’re always inspiring!
Ah that amazing Stella! I love having you as part of our Habit Healers community!
Twelve years like this... tired but won't yield to the worst.
❤️
I read this early this morning and it stayed with me all day. I've been feeling this for some time but completely unable to put it into words. It's just so counter intuitive to me.
If I go for a run sure it may be unpleasant in the moment but afterwards I feel great pretty much immediately. If I'm working on these other aspects it's unpleasant in the moment and then I spend the next few hours (or days) worrying that I just did something terribly wrong.
I know it won't be this way forever but sometimes it feels like it will be.
Stop worrying and know you are on the right track.
How beautifully articulated. I stopped drinking alcohol last July. For the first time in years I sat with my emptiness and grief. I didn't want to keep numbing myself. Eventually my emptiness became my welcome space.
I gave myself 6 months sobriety to learn about myself. I have not wanted to return to drinking and my old habits and tribe.
I now exercise regularly and am starting to find a new tribe.
I actually enjoyed reflecting on my changes. I keep learning about me and I like myself much better now.
Thank you so much for sharing your story and congratulations on your journey! I am sure you inspire others!
It’s my inner child who is upset over feeling alone because she feels she did something wrong to deserve it. It’s my job to comfort her to remind her that. I want to hear what she has to say and that she is never alone because I am here to listen.
Yes!
This resonates with me. When I decided to stop eating after 7:00 because that improves my sleep I got soft push back and teasing from my husband and his aunt. I stuck to my decision because my first real “aha” moment was that a good night’s sleep is the foundation of a great day for me. The same was true when I decided to go gluten free to help relieve the stiffness in my joints. I stuck to my decision because I feel better. They use phrases like “you aren’t allowed to eat…”. These choices are not being made for me by anyone but me. But there is a separation from the group because they are not in the same place in their journey. Sitting with the grief, feeling the feelings, and knowing they are ok is something I haven’t fully done yet. It’s this grief that sometimes makes me feel deprived when I am with the group. I need to do this every day - for 5 minutes - until I no longer feel deprived but feel really comfortable with my choices. Thank you!
You are welcome. I really wanted to put into words what I see my patients experience when embracing lifestyle changes.
So true. Happened with me about 3 years ago when I ramped up exercise. But each day I did something, I felt a little better. And yes, it's nice when someone notices now but it also doesn't matter because of how good I feel
Fantastic! Congratulations
Yes! This is it, exactly. So hard and so slow but the changes are real. Thanks so much for letting me know I am not the only one who feels these things.🤓
You are definitely not alone!