Another great article. I am so glad I found you as I find your writing very insightful and relatively simple and easy to read and understand.
I have a question for you though, what if you actually really like the house that you are in but know deep down it could be ‘better’ but you aren’t sure what that ‘better’ actually looks and feels like.
What would you answer to that question ?
Many thanks for your consideration ….. this is where I currently feel rather stuck.
First, thank you for your kind words—I’m so glad the article resonated with you.
Your question is powerful: What if you actually like the house you're in but know deep down it could be better—yet you're not sure what "better" even looks or feels like?
This is such a human experience.
We often find ourselves in a space—whether it’s a lifestyle, a routine, a relationship, or even a mindset—that feels good enough. It's familiar. It’s comfortable. And it’s not necessarily bad.
But there's this quiet inner whisper: There’s more. And the hard part is, you can't yet define what that “more” is. You just feel its absence.
Here’s what I’d offer:
Sometimes, you don’t need to have the full blueprint of your “better house” before you start renovating. The first step might simply be awareness. You’ve already taken it—by asking this question.
In the language of the article, maybe you’re not sitting in the dust and cobwebs of your old house. Maybe you’re in a charming, lived-in home—but a part of you senses it’s time to open a window, knock down a wall, or let in more light.
And that’s the work of habit healing.
You don’t need to abandon the whole house. But you do need to ask:
Which habits no longer reflect the future version of me I want to grow into?
What small habit might reflect who I’m becoming, not just who I’ve been?
Start there.
Let clarity come through action. As you try new habits, you may begin to feel the shape of that “better” more clearly—not in your head, but in your heart, your energy, your joy.
And remember: You don’t have to move out.
But maybe it’s time to move in more fully to the life that’s trying to grow through you.
I read all of your articles without fail. One thing I learned decades ago is that someone can explain a situation differently than you've been viewing it and a light goes on in your mind (or your heart). The way you phrase your perspective is like that for me. I truly appreciate your articles. Thank you!
Therapy has allowed me to ask myself what do I want and express the want. This was the key for me to leave the old house. I still stumble sometimes as my brain often prefers the comfort of the known but change is happening. Thanks for this article, I feel seen.
I love this!!!!
Another great article. I am so glad I found you as I find your writing very insightful and relatively simple and easy to read and understand.
I have a question for you though, what if you actually really like the house that you are in but know deep down it could be ‘better’ but you aren’t sure what that ‘better’ actually looks and feels like.
What would you answer to that question ?
Many thanks for your consideration ….. this is where I currently feel rather stuck.
First, thank you for your kind words—I’m so glad the article resonated with you.
Your question is powerful: What if you actually like the house you're in but know deep down it could be better—yet you're not sure what "better" even looks or feels like?
This is such a human experience.
We often find ourselves in a space—whether it’s a lifestyle, a routine, a relationship, or even a mindset—that feels good enough. It's familiar. It’s comfortable. And it’s not necessarily bad.
But there's this quiet inner whisper: There’s more. And the hard part is, you can't yet define what that “more” is. You just feel its absence.
Here’s what I’d offer:
Sometimes, you don’t need to have the full blueprint of your “better house” before you start renovating. The first step might simply be awareness. You’ve already taken it—by asking this question.
In the language of the article, maybe you’re not sitting in the dust and cobwebs of your old house. Maybe you’re in a charming, lived-in home—but a part of you senses it’s time to open a window, knock down a wall, or let in more light.
And that’s the work of habit healing.
You don’t need to abandon the whole house. But you do need to ask:
Which habits no longer reflect the future version of me I want to grow into?
What small habit might reflect who I’m becoming, not just who I’ve been?
Start there.
Let clarity come through action. As you try new habits, you may begin to feel the shape of that “better” more clearly—not in your head, but in your heart, your energy, your joy.
And remember: You don’t have to move out.
But maybe it’s time to move in more fully to the life that’s trying to grow through you.
I read all of your articles without fail. One thing I learned decades ago is that someone can explain a situation differently than you've been viewing it and a light goes on in your mind (or your heart). The way you phrase your perspective is like that for me. I truly appreciate your articles. Thank you!
You are so kind! I hope they continue to light up your mind and heart!
I really like the metaphor of residing in a new house instead of returning to the old house. I'm going to remember this one!
Yes, I was hoping it would resonate with the readers. Thank for your thoughts.
Therapy has allowed me to ask myself what do I want and express the want. This was the key for me to leave the old house. I still stumble sometimes as my brain often prefers the comfort of the known but change is happening. Thanks for this article, I feel seen.
Hi Chris. Thank you for sharing.
Wonderful and very helpful article. Thank you doctor.
You are welcome. Hope you are doing well Maryann and keep going forward.
Thank you Dr Marbas!